How’s your heart today?
When our relationships, especially intimate partnerships don’t go the way we hope and desire or we don’t have one at all, our natural reaction is to blame. Shift the attention, notice the fault of the other. In my case, this often seems to be the right reaction. The problem with being right, is that it rarely makes us happy. And it always leaves you without the control. Yep, you guessed it, we can’t change others or circumstances that have already occured but we do possess dominion over our own minds, the way we think, what emotions we attach to those thoughts and the habits that follow. In fact the very person we become. Would you like to be in relationship with you?
“For as she thinks in her heart, so she is!”
What would it mean to you to stimulate a healthy, thriving invigorating partnership in your life? I say YOU, because it only takes one person to stimulate a partnership to improve. Do you want change & deep healing, …all before lunch? Are you honestly ready for that? To act as a stimulus? Does it really take hours of therapy to work through issues of deep resentment? What do we do when we aren’t ready to forgive?
So what’s your MAP? You’re not a spectator here, so consider the destination you wish to travel to. For me its Respect, my goal is Love & Respect.
We can stimulate a respect for our partner, a respect which every human deserves and they do not need to do anything to earn it. We can respect the man when we don’t respect the fathering. We can respect the human when we have no respect left for the friendship. We can stimulate a faithfulness to the partnership that WE chose and take responsibility for how it is manifesting itself. I remind myself frequently that there are three of us in this relationship. Me, them and the construct itself. It is our mandate to honour and respect the human in this triangle even when the construct of the relationship is failing us.
So what’s your MAP?
Today I encourage you to reclaim SATURDAY as STIMULATE day. The day when you faithfully ‘prepare yourself’ to spur on your partnership or the the one you want. Plan to put in effort, rouse yourself to action and invigorate this role/ framework with the magic of Willingness.
Today, on #STIMULATE day, we don’t need to fix ‘it’, no need to problem solve ‘it’, no need to project our hopes and needs on ‘it’, we don’t even need to be affected by ‘it’. Rather, we pull out the MAP and see where we are at. See where we might be lost, off course or traveling in the wrong vehicle. To CAPTURE our thoughts every one of us must put aside five minutes or 30 to review, ponder, pause and prioritise the health of our partnership or she WILL bite you.
Come to this review alone, as a chance to capture your own thoughts and see what emotions you have attached to them. To capture; is to take possession of, to gain control over. Capture your thoughts and record them in a lasting form and see your own ‘Mind Map’. Let go of the ideal that you will ever possess the map of another. Allow me to tempt you into this simple, light, & responsible practise of seeing yourself first, before the other, truly seeing where you’re travelling to. You guessed it, in order to experience a deeply satisfying partnership you need only to work on YOU and take Pathways to Success & Happiness towards respect. Granted, for some of us the idea of respect for the other, is harder even to find in ourselves than forgiveness. Ok, so what if you respected yourself enough to take time out today, alone, to simply review the relationship you have or the relationship you desire. #Stimulate yourself…did I just write that?
To stimulate your passion and pleasure centre, your life force and thought life, your strength and your vulnerability allows you to let go, to move, and to feel change and transformation occurring in your body. It allows you to experience this moment, this now, as it is, in its own fullness. The main challenge in this sea that we all must travel, is the conditioning of society. We live in a western society where feelings are undervalued, where passion and emotional reactions are being frowned upon. We are being taught systematically not to loose control, not to take a GAP Year and consequently find our selves on the circumference of our lives not the centre. Disconnected from our bodies, our feelings and our dreams.
So it’s #STIMULATE Day, set an alarm, install a moving love song, without lyrics like “I’m felling sexual” or “I’m down on my knees begging you please…”and reclaim Saturday as Stimulate day. Yep, change it on the fridge calendar too, just so you can speak this life giving word “Stimulate” over yourself, your partner, your lover or your longing. I ask you, what does ‘Saturday’ mean anyway, Words are powerful so lets not waste another day speaking meaningless words over our lives…live by consent!
Today no need to problem solve no need to share just take a moment to review your own map, your own thoughts and your own feelings. Capture them, be gentle with what you find and if your up for it – Let go!
While we are at it, I invite you to reclaim Valentines Day Forever, as a day of Self-Love, Single-Love & Sister-Love. Look out for the inaugural Mums GAP Year Fundraiser Together let us create a nuclear blast against commercialism of ‘Hollywood love’ & against the nuclear model which is completely unable to serve us without weighing down our partnerships with unrealistic expectations of grandeur. Women need wives & Men need lives!